We’re back for a new episode and are unbelievably rusty—probably because Scott hasn’t spoken for six months. We talk about bodies and sex and sex with bodies and more, but mostly it’s just a bunch of the long, strange digressions that you know and love (or tolerate).

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Scott and Maré talk about kissing, lying, drinking blood, foreskin presents and so much more.

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Scott and Maré talk about virgins, long distance relationships, long distance relationship virgins and more!

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Scott and Maré regroup in Seattle to discuss poetry, swimming pools and, of course, blow jobs, because we can’t go a single episode without talking about them.

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Maré’s back to discuss adult braces, custom dildos and American Apparel underpants.

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Scott is joined by the lovely and talented Mika Parades to discuss grandmas, tattoos and Carl Sagan’s infinite blow job theory.

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We’re back for season two! Or whatever it is we’re calling this… Learn about furniture sex, missing girlfriends and the mysteries of the vagina.

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In the twilight of our teenage years we cover first times, black belts and more. Also, there are poems!

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It’s Episode 18 and Scott doesn’t care what Maré thinks about that. We talk about man melons, semenarche and the complex physics behind mother-in-law attraction.

We finally freed Cory! At least for the first 30 seconds of the show. After that, we talk about mom seduction techniques,  tree pervs and all of the people that apparently have sexual fantasies about us.

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It’s our sweet sixteen and everyone is invited, including anal surprise guy, a time traveler and a magical talking wallet.

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The lovely and talented Elissa Ball joins us for Episode #15. We cover tickling, milkshakes and the most desirable side effects of medication.

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Our progression through podcast puberty continues with Episode 14. Learn about everything from super crushes to baby Maré’s boner. Also, infinite thanks to Bass Millionaire for the new theme song!

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Somebody’s a teenager! Hear from old friends, new heros and a special guest, the footsteps of Scott’s loud upstairs neighbor.

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Welcome to Episode 12 in which we learn about hot teachers and mean girls and hear Maré confuse a corsage with a corset.

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We’ve made it to 11 and are officially tweens. This week we cover hating friends, fellatio problems, and crushing hard on teachers.

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Our ten-year anniversary extravaganza! Enjoy secrets about kissing, dirty photos, Dad’s porn collection and the fact that apparently everyone is gay.

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The fabulous Jen Sembera joins Scott in beautiful Austin, Texas for our first remote podcast. Episode 9 features a myriad of fantastic secrets and terrible, terrible audio quality because Scott didn’t pack a mic. Sorry!

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We’ve somehow managed to make it up to 8 episodes! This time we talk about roommates, porn, sex at school and more!

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In episode Lucky Seven, we learn about lightsabers, yoghurt, Maré’s love of chocolate cake and so much more.

Cory’s back with an idea for a new hit film starring Emma Watson and Gwen Stefani continues to make sexual advances at Scott. And, of course, there are secrets about everything from trampolines to ugly girlfriends.

Welcome to our non-Valentines, non-extravaganza! Learn about statues, washcloths and the Dutchess of Football. And Dan Nguyen? We’ve got some news for you, mister.

Old friends and new friends alike gather to hear High Hat finally apologize for being a bully and learn about the intricacies of love hiccups. (Sorry about the quality. GarageBand tried to ruin EVERYTHING.)

Breaking records left and right, we’re back with episode three. Featuring the Huxtables, orgasm athletes and the triumphant return of Butter Sprinkles Handjob Guy.

We’re back for Episode 2 with a new batch of secrets that covers everything from sprinkles to pushups.

Welcome to our inaugural episode! We spill beans and debag cats while talking about sex, church, sex in church, weed, paprika and more.